Biking, Goals, and Art
I was recently traveling with my husband in Lubec, Maine and he was excited to ride our bikes into Canada – to Roosevelt Campobello International Park on Campobello Island. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to make it over the arched bridge spanning the Lubec Narrows, flowing to the Bay of Fundy. This summer, I have spent more time than normal on my bike, (my new “short people” bike), but that has been almost entirely on flat trails.
As we were approaching the bridge, I realized that this worry about not being good right away is the same way I have often felt about painting and photography. Of course, by trying new things and failing to succeed immediately – that’s how you improve. I’ve been very aware of that in relation to the arts but not something I’ve considered about exercise. In both cases, though, I tend to avoid doing things I am not sure I am already good at. I get upset with myself for not being perfect immediately. It has only been recently that I have decided to practice writing more seriously - and that is because I have been doing it for work out of necessity and have received some compliments – what my mind seems to construe as an indication that maybe I am perfect after all. But in all seriousness, I was actually practicing while writing for work and didn’t really notice it.
Enjoying the learning process while being bad at something is tough. I’ve struggled with that for a long time. It is only since I put some creative projects away for years and have finally come back to them that I am able to see that I was actually doing them with a bit of nascent skill enhanced by the skills I developed in art school. I wasn’t as terrible as I thought, and I have hope for improving even more. I think doing art as assignments gave me permission to not be perfect - the permission of “you’re here to learn new things, but with a deadline”.
Without that deadline and the final goal of a body of work at the end of the semester, I haven’t had a real reason to develop my skills and have at the same time been frustrated by not being “there” yet. If I were advising someone else, I would say that the pleasure of the activity itself should be enough, but in truth, I need an end goal to give me the permission to experiment, fail, and try again in order to reach my goal.
We did ride our bikes to Canada and I didn’t make it all the way to the highest point of the bridge. I made it most of the way, though and most of the way on the return trip. I’ll keep practicing until I can make it when we go back next year. And although it should be, my goal won’t be to start to build muscle so I retain it as I get older. My goal will be to do an activity with my husband because it’s fun to do things together – engaging my brain with the reward of fun and the goal of biking new trails together.
Not everyone needs to have a goal to get through the learning phase of doing new activities; it has certainly helped me though, now that I have figured it out. I’m excited to get through those imperfect beginnings and bike, photograph, paint, and who knows what else. Wish me luck!